


I'm sorry Roshan

by Tremaine_Blackberry



Category: Warcross - Marie Lu
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Language, Gun Violence, Gunshot, M/M, Major Character Injury, Non-Graphic Violence, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:48:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29646714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tremaine_Blackberry/pseuds/Tremaine_Blackberry
Summary: Tremaine was going to die. There was no chance of escape, and all he had was regret.A retelling of the scene where Tremaine gets shot in Wildcard, from his POV.
Relationships: Roshan Ahmadi/Tremaine Blackbourne, Tremaine Blackbourne & Emika Chen
Kudos: 6





	I'm sorry Roshan

_‘And when I got into the accident, the sight that flashed before me was your face’_

The silver-haired woman standing over him removed the gag from his mouth. She cocked one eyebrow, as if to ask if he was going to try to get away. He seriously considered it. If he could just send out a message to Emika, through the neurolink or his phone, he could warn her not to come to the institute. If she stayed away, she wouldn’t get hurt. There had to be a way of uncovering the mystery shrouding Zero without involving herself in this mess of a failed mission. Now Zero himself, a tall figure clad in dark armour, stepped toward him. 

‘Who are you here with?’ Zero enquired. Of course, Tremaine stayed silent. He wasn’t sure if Emika was here, and if she were, he would never tell them. It was too late for him, but she could still save herself. Maybe she would tell Roshan that he had died a hero’s death. Maybe that was what it would take to finally redeem himself in Roshan’s eyes. 

Zero stepped forward, no expression on his armour-covered face. The woman looked at him as if to say, ‘let me’. She and Zero both stepped backward, and she reached toward her holster. _Oh shit._ She pulled out her gun, cocked it, and aimed straight down at his forehead. As he looked up the barrel of the gun to meet her eyes, a rainbow flash caught his attention. He quickly glanced in that direction. _Goddammit Emi._ For all of his wishes, she was here. He only hoped that he hadn’t given her away with his gaze and that she could still get out. She would tell her friends about him. She would tell Roshan.

Tremaine wondered if Roshan would even care when he died. There was no _if_ now. That bullet was ending up in his head, there was nothing he could do about it. He recalled something Hammie had once told him: live life with no regrets. Well here he was, at the end of his life, and all he had was regrets. He regretted coming here without telling Emika. He regretted the pills, and the rift his use of them had driven between him and Roshan. And most of all, Tremaine regretted never reconnecting with him. The fear of disdain had been too strong that he hadn’t even tried. He was sure that somehow that shame would follow him to the grave. 

They always say that when you die, your whole life flashes before your eyes. But all Tremaine saw was Roshan. The long nights in the Phoenix Riders dorm, talking for hours on end. Their first kiss, after the final game. Roshan always beating him at Mario Kart, and the one time Tremaine beat him. The words 'I love you' whispered in the dark. Then the guilt had engulfed Tremaine, making him question if he could ever be enough for Roshan. The pills had allowed short relief from these feelings, but eventually made it worse. All it took was for Roshan's father to confirm what he already thought, and Tremaine had shattered. Now, he was two years sober, but it was for nothing. He would die here, and no one would care.

As he looked into the woman’s steel-gray eyes, Tremaine could swear he saw her mouth the word sorry. The word reminded him of Roshan, who apologised more than he ever needed to. It was never Roshan who had to say sorry. It was him. And as the sound of the bullet firing hit his ears, Roshan’s face flashed before Tremaine as he thought: _I’m sorry Roshan._

**Author's Note:**

> partially inspired by that one line from Taylor Swift's Coney Island


End file.
